Interview with Lana Sharp

How are you today?
Today I am feeling quite grounded and optimistic. I’m feeling excited about my new home, this castle I found on Willhaben. Also, I have occasional flashbacks from the flames (can feel fear at times), which rip me back to the fire, but it’s all actually very fascinating to me if I remain curious about its ripples in my being. It is a time of heavy transformation for me. Wagonburn helped me radically choose a new way of moving in the world.

I am actually healthier and more disciplined now; I’ve been trying to get here for a while. Relief!

Can you describe the feeling when you fully realized the fire and the loss of your home and belongings?
The feeling was so deep and ancient: mortal peril, ruin, total destruction. It was a blazing wave of trauma. But I know this state quite well somehow when the fabric of everything unravels and the plates shift inside you to create a new person in an instant. My life has been tumultuous; I’ve been here many times, so it also feels familiar. Every time this happens, I also feel a huge excitement as the soul of this human, gazing from above at the situation, says, „What life will bloom now? You choose!“ It’s a magical place in a way because it’s an opportunity to create a new reality from the rubble. That’s what everyone is searching for – healing, drinking medicine, going to retreats. Thanks, Wagonburn!

At that moment I also felt quite aroused! Lol. My first impulse was to have sex about it. With my home blazing in the background, I asked a dear friend if he would sleep with me. I guess I needed the warmth & comfort also a momentary escape. We didn’t in the end, but he was graceful and understood. Members of my dear farm community held me as I wept barefoot, watching the entirety of my material world go up in flames. I’m convinced that their love & physical touch saved my life that night. I wouldn’t have survived it alone, I would’ve died right there of a broken heart, I’m sure of it. There was one moment when I realized it was too far gone, we were trying to put out the flames but it was too late. That’s when the most primordial scream erupted out of my body. I lay on the wet earth, as my sound poured into the soil. It felt like the entire farm shuddered in unison with my cry. The animals watched on, the birds took flight. It was eerie and beautiful. I could feel the dialogue between myself and the natural world in a way I’d never known before.

How has this experience affected you emotionally and mentally?
The burn is an ongoing process still, so the teachings continue to unfold, but as of now, I’ve learned so much from it that I’m truly in a place of gratitude and acceptance. Emotionally, it’s been teaching interdependence. I’ve been a lone wolf/hermit for my entire life. This has drastically changed as I’ve opened myself and accepted help, shown my vulnerability, and realized it was impossible to survive this alone. I opened my heart so wide and accepted the hugs, warm meals, donations, acts of kindness, talks, laughs, and empathy from my community. This experience has created a new person, less of an (I) Land, my ego could safely dissolve a bit, and I feel much cozier in my life now, making it easier to connect to others. After Wagonburn, I realized that I needed to quickly inject some deep structure into my life, as I was active in a trauma place and could face a downfall if I wasn’t careful and disciplined. So I saw it as an incredible opportunity for growth and dedicated myself to my creative and artistic practices, and I am finding it quite easy to release old habits. Some pristine clarity is now flowing in, thanks to the flames. I’m still navigating the trauma of it, can’t drive yet as flashing lights cause panic in me, and I’m getting treated for a bit of the residual effects. I also have developed a bit of paranoia that I’m constantly losing stuff. Navigating that one still. But dealing with everything step by step. This incident has also made me aware of what a privileged position I’m in and that I have access to all of these potent tools. I am very humbled and grateful for that, but it also puts fire in me to create access for other humans with less privilege to find what they need to heal themselves. I would consider this my calling in life. Using art as an aperture for healing.

I really like your username „goodmorninghuman“ on Instagram. What does the name mean to you?
Goodmoninghuman has been with me for a long time. It has been a shortcut to a greater perspective. I began writing it in lipstick on my mirror at a time when life felt like a swamp. I was navigating a place I would only call the underworld. GMH was a beacon for me, a reminder in my abyss that there will always be a new day, that I am indeed a human being (years of not feeling a body will let you forget), and although I wasn’t sure what being human was supposed to mean, with no clear path, elders, community, or guidance, I had gifted myself this one reminder. The meaning of GMH has since evolved to symbolize the genesis of a new peace, a new era of humanity, and an opportunity for a collective renaissance. As I grow, I reclaim my humanity. It’s an incredible time to be alive for us humans. Something that used to plague me and that I tried only to escape from is now the greatest gift, and I want to share it. Eat fruits with friends under trees, sing, dance, and play; revel in my humanness.

Drink water and do human stuff. That’s all I’m into these days.

How can people help you rebuild the house?
Wagonburn has brought clarity to the next steps, and future plans are slowly coming together. The skeleton of the wagon ( truckbed trailer) was miraculously unharmed by the fire. We are planning to transform it into a traveling stage/2 bedroom home for me and my creative partner/platonic wife (@icametobringjoy.) We are a traveling sacred clown show (@witches2witches) and we would like to rebuild the wagon so we can begin our nomadic journey as a pop-up healing arts caravan. Our show is a variety format with drag, burlesque, our own compositions, comedy, and improv melded with spiritual practices such as yoga, meditation, tantra, breathwork, and others. Our intention is to burst the „spiritual people“ bubble, redefine the language around topics of healing and spirituality, and create approachable methods for the mainstream.

You can donate to fund the wagon rebuild at: gofund.me/e662c6f7

To whom would you like to express your gratitude?
My deep gratitude goes first to my farm family, members of the Kleine Stadt farm. They chose to embrace me and support me through the entire process, cleaning up the rubble of my home together and welcoming me into their homes. The support was deep and real. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. There was an outpouring of help at every corner. My friends and the greater community also showed up; I wouldn’t have made it through without your help. Thanks love. Thanks also to the first responders – police and firefighters, who prevented a greater tragedy. Thanks also to the Lobau waters, trees, animals, and other beings that held me softly in my process, received my tears in their soil, and helped me transform my grief. Thank you, Wagon Burn, for your potent medicine. I wouldn’t be here without you. A million thanks to your magazine for giving me this opportunity to share. Something that is generally not so easy for me, but with this interview, my heart can pour onto the page, which is a cathartic experience. Yours is a sweet space. Loving you thanking you so much, we are all related!

Is there anything else you would like to dispose of?
Do you mean anything I’d like to get rid of? Lol, I think losing all material things to flames is sufficient de-cluttering for now… but I think you mean any final thoughts. Yes, what I’d like to communicate is the moral of Wagonburn, the core lesson that has come through for me. We can survive ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING if we don’t go it alone. The only difference between a transformational life experience and a lasting trauma is whether the community holds you through it or not. I am walking through life now with basically no fear, knowing that anything could happen and that I would survive it and thrive afterward because I am held safe by my family. There will always be an auntie there to make soup and talk to while my tears flow, a friend that will call, or a lover to cuddle. I am not alone, and all experiences are nectar for my growth. Fearless, we can proceed if we open. I’m gonna let life in now, deeply and fully. Maybe we all do this life thing a bit more together.

Help her build a new home: gofund.me/e662c6f7

Lana Sharp – www.instagram.com/goodmorninghuman/

Photos: Philipp Pess – www.philipppess.com, Art of Ayni – www.artofayni.com, Claudia Lomoschitz – www.claudialomoschitz.com